God's word on sexuality and marriage

To adequately give an answer concerning the question at the end of the preceding post "Urgent Correction", we need to comprehend what the purpose of sex is according to the Bible. To do this, we must start back at the beginning. According to Genesis 2:7, God created the first man from the dust of the earth. We know this man to be Adam. For a short time, Adam remained alone as the only human on the planet. God knew that it wasn't good for Adam to be the only one of his kind (Genesis 2:18), so He created for Adam a companion (written as “help meet” in the KJV, but it essentially means “helper” as modern English is concerned) by forming a woman from a rib taken from Adam's side; we know this woman to be Eve, Adam's wife (Genesis 2:21-24). God commanded them to reproduce, and gave them dominion over all living things on earth (Genesis 1:27-31). This is proof that God intended sex to be for reproduction.

But is procreation all He intended sex to be for? The answer is no, because the Bible clearly states that sex was also to be used by and for many other reasons that I will explain in detail: physical pleasure, to strengthen emotional and mental bonds between husband and wife, and to increase godly heritage. We'll also examine the important union of marriage and its symbolic significance, for without marriage between a man and a woman, sex would be considered immoral in the forms including but not limited to adultery and fornication.

It seems that there are a few groups of Christians that believe that sex is merely for procreation and that to use it for pleasure is a sin. As a result, most non-believers take this belief to heart and often apply it to all Christians. This is a false assumption and the Bible is abundant with proof that God did indeed create sex to be enjoyed, not just to be utilized for the conception of offspring. An example of this was written by Paul:

"But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband is to fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does, and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

What Paul is saying to the church of Corinth in this passage is that in order to prevent succumbing to lust and subsequently committing sexual sin, that a man should take a wife and that a wife should take a husband. It goes on to say that during the marriage union that each spouse should not physically neglect their mate, but instead should give themselves unselfishly to each other in order to defend against the temptation to commit adultery. Several passages within the Bible indicate that sex between a husband and his wife is completely natural and that there is nothing wrong with it. An example of this is Proverbs 5:19 which reads:

“Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”

The Book of Proverbs is a collection of wisdom concerning many matters both big and small. Many theologians agree that King Solomon wrote most of Proverbs and that a smaller portion by others, but we can likely say that Proverbs 5:19 is Solomon giving his son marital advice. This is a fair assumption because Solomon also warns his son about prostitutes (Proverbs 23:26-28). This can also apply to the previously mentioned 1 Corinthians 7:3-5; loving and delighting in your spouse will defend against the urge to commit adultery. Another abundant source of God’s will for sex to be pleasurable within marriage is the Book of Song of Solomon, which contains the dialogue between a husband and wife. It describes a courtship phase (Song of Solomon 1:1-3:5), the wedding (Song of Solomon 3:6-5:1), and the marriage as it matures (Song of Solomon 5:2-8:14).

So far, we’ve gone over the biological and physical uses God designed sex for, but now let’s examine the emotional and mental aspect. God created marriage to be lifetime bond that only He reserves the right and power to break apart (Matthew 19:6). As a man and woman become husband and wife, God sees them as one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Neglecting one’s spouse emotionally, as well as physically, is considered by God to be the sin of selfishness (James 3:16-17), simultaneously being in violation of the holy marriage covenant. Emotional neglect gives way to dangerous circumstances, such as one spouse seeking the attention of another that is not their spouse in order to fulfill their needs. If a spouse does not have their needs met by the only person that can rightly do so, it is likely that their relationship with each other, and possibly even with God will suffer. The Bible teaches us that what a man (or woman) truly wants is unfailing love and that God sees this as a noble desire, worth more than any other pursuit (Proverbs 19:22, 1 Corinthians 13:13). What better way to live than to love unselfishly and have it also given to you? This not only represents God’s design for marriage between a man and a woman, but it is also how He designed our relationship with Him to be.

So if God had created sex to address the physical, biological, and emotional needs of mankind, would it not make sense that He also wrote a spiritual purpose into the equation? The Bible points to yes: it specifically ties into procreation, but goes a bit deeper than mere physical propagation. God intended for mankind to create more people of godly heritage, so that there would be more men and women that would glorify Him and battle against the spread of sin by in turn revealing His word. Both the Gospel of Matthew and the Gospel of Mark make evidence of this by issuing a command for God’s people to make known the word of God (Matthew 28:18-20, Mark 16:15-16).

The act of sex between a husband and a wife was no doubt made special by God. But the most important requirement we must fulfill before we are allowed to partake in sex is marriage. Like sex, the Bible indicates that marriage also has multiple purposes. These purposes can be traced back to the previous paragraphs; it prevents sexual immorality, between two believers it can create children that tend to become believers as well (Malachi 2:13-15; this passage tells us that God no longer accepted the offerings from the Israelites because they abandoned their original wives and took up wives of foreign nations, making it less likely that their progeny would revere the LORD, but instead be subjected to idolatry), it was designed to make us happy (Proverbs 18:22), and also God knows that most of us need companionship (Proverbs 27:17, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25) and women are to submit themselves to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-24).

Now ladies, before you rule this passage as misogynistic, first remember that since the beginning there had been the principle of hierarchy (1 Timothy 2:13), and that God created you for the man, not the other way around (1 Corinthians 11:8-9). After sin entered into the world, God established a system in which to rule and enforce the law of the land. Paul writes to the church in Corinth about the importance of this spiritual ladder in which the lower rungs are subject to the authority of those above them (1 Corinthians 11:1-15). Verse 3 describes that Christ is subservient to God the Father, men are subservient to Christ, and that women are subservient to their husbands. It also tells in verse 4 that if a man covers his head, he dishonors God, for the head of man is Christ; also man was created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). Verse 5 of 1 Corinthians 11 says that women who do not cover their heads dishonor their heads, which back to verse 3 indicates that it is man. It’s important to understand that Paul isn’t talking about a cloth covering, but instead he writes of hair. In verse 4, we can assume that if a man covers his head (has long hair), it dishonors God because it betrays the original image He intended for man to resemble; verse 14 confirms this. Verse 15 then goes on to say that long hair is a glory for women, because it resembles the original image God intended for women to resemble. 1 Corinthians 11 is one of the vast examples that prove God had created man so that he would glorify Him, as He also created woman to glorify man.

This by no means indicates that God loves men more than women. It’s important to realize that God did not create men and women as unequal, but instead as equal and different. Such a belief that men are worth more to God than women is not the case at all, as made evidence by verse 12 of 1 Corinthians 11. Women are also equal heirs with men in Christ (1 Peter 3:7). The Bible in no way commands women to be subservient to their husbands in the form of slavery, but instead to serve their husbands in an equal partnership in which men have been given the command to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-33). A man is not to treat his wife as a slave, a maid, or an employee. Rather, he is to love her unselfishly with respect, honor, and to cherish her. As the Bible tells women to subject themselves to their husbands as men subject themselves to Christ, we can understand that God does not expect women to enter into a marriage with a man that does not first pledge to do God’s will. In fact, He forbids all of us to do so (2 Corinthians 6:14).

So, with a strong understanding of what God expects of us concerning sex and marriage, let us finally confront the original question: “Is anal sex a sin?” The Bible says yes and no. Any type of sexual activity performed outside of marriage is considered sinful, sodomy included. As far as anal sex is concerned within the sanctity of marriage, the Bible does not explicitly list any particular sexual act to be sinful, as long as it is a mutual decision between spouses. The only sexual sins that can be committed between a husband and his wife are lusting after someone who is not their spouse (lust itself is not a sin, but rather it is a form of coveting something that is not yours; lusting after your own spouse is perfectly fine), committing adultery (having sexual relations with someone who is not your own spouse or is someone else’s spouse), committing fornication (a more broad term that could also be adultery; an example of this would be inviting a third person to your bedroom), and being selfish in the bedroom (neglecting your spouse physically and even emotionally).

Most importantly, love each other unselfishly! This is God's command for us all and when we apply it to our lives, we experience of living according to His will.